Seeing Happiness

I wrote the following to a friend the other day. I'd like to think any of us that deal with depression fully know and understand what true happiness is, and even perhaps just how to achieve it. It's not like we don't want to be happy, we literally just can't.

"It's just sometimes it feels like I'm stuck in this big hole in the ground that has slippery walls and 0 footing and there is the word "happiness" written in the sky above and I'm continually clawing at the walls to reach up and achieve it. It's not like I don't want it and not that I'm not trying, but sometimes it's just impossible to obtain. Happiness is in my future though, true happiness, not temporary, so that's what keeps me fighting and clawing at the walls."

Sometimes outsiders who do not suffer from depression just don't get it. Trust me when I say that I understand happiness is a choice you must make. I attempt to make that every single day. Some days my mind says that is the right choice. Other days my mind says, 'Hah! Yeah right!' and thus come the bad days. 

On those bad days, I just wish someone was there for me to say, 'Gee. It's flared up again I see. Well, what can I do, bring you some ice cream?' This blog post about says it all: http://brokensaints.wordpress.com/2013/01/28/sometimes-i-wish/ If society better understood depression and how it deeply affects literally every function in that person's life, we honestly might be better off. Sometimes all we need is for someone to be there to show they care. We tend to become recluse for fear of social interaction (be it anxiety, worry, stress, etc.) and this is why often it is hard for us to find someone to care. We've already either scared or blown off everyone who had given at least a sliver of care to us and ostracized ourselves. 

With this, I recommend that all of us put our skittishness toward social interaction away every once in awhile and go make friends or re-establish friendships once lost. It is hard to have someone there for you on those bad days when all you've ever done is push people away. I definitely know I am guilty of this. 

True happiness involves engaging with others intimately. Without this, we are just floating through life alone. The pathway to Happyness revolves around picking others up along the way!